Guilty Pleasure

One guilty pleasure I have is having a stare down with babies or small children. I somehow always find myself looking over at any given moment while in public and see a creature (aka children and babies) staring at me, so what do I do….I stare right back at them until one of us looks away first or cracks a smile first. First off, I am really good at not smiling. I can hold back a laugh pretty good (unless it’s my cousins doing their quasi-moto impression or doing their “ugliest face in the world” look, I cave).

The best thing about have a stare down with one of these creatures is it’s funny to see their reactions once we begin the stare down game. 

• Some of them are simply surprised, their eyes get huge and most likely poop their diapers because they don’t know what to do.

• Some of them love it and stare right back until their parental units begin shoving food in their face, yelling at them for no reason or just plain annoy the kid into look away.

• Some of them start crying.

• Some of them give me the evil eye and wink at me with their creepy beady little eyes where I then proceed to poop my pants and immediately have daymares about them murdering me. See example below:

• Some of them tell their mom there is a weird girl staring at them, then the moment gets real awkward when the parent turns to me and sees me in action still staring at the creature.

• Some of them look away immediately.

• Some of them have no expressions so I then ponder to myself, “what are they thinking at this exact moment in time. Are their little brains thinking ‘weeeeeeeee this is fun lalalalal’, are they thinking, ‘I just peed’, are they thinking, ‘I shall name my next stuffed animal Bootscrap’ or are they thinking ‘(nothing)’.”

• Some of them laugh and try to look all cute and want to play until they see I am in it to win it and my facial expression does not budge from the seriousness of this game.

• Some of them just simply look over and probably think to themselves, ‘this lady is funny looking, she must be staring at my ridiculously good looks’.

• Some of them try to get me to crack and make funny/scary faces at me. (I cracked once)

• Some of them just look at me with a blank glazed over stare in their eyes and I can tell they are very good at this game and are also in it to win it.

• Sometimes I like to throw in a curve ball and stick my tongue out at them and see what happens. (whoa, I had no idea how to spell tongue until right now when my spell check lit up the word with bright red squigglies.)

You should try a stare down with a creature at least once in your life, I promise, it’s pretty entertaining. You just might get a large chuckle out of it or have a new best friend.

DISCLAIMER: Never play the stare down game with a babe animal, YOU WILL LOSE.    

 Baby Sloth!!