What To Do If Your Boss Annoys You

You all may be wondering what it is I do for a living. Well, I am now a professional blogger and I am in the process of starting my own unrelated business.

However, I too at one point in my life had a "boss". I have had tall bosses, short bosses, nice bosses and not so nice bosses.

After giving some well thought out advice to one of my friends about how to handle her "not so nice" boss, I thought our conversation would be very beneficial to all of you that are also dealing with a "not so nice" boss. 

DISCLAIMER: The following actions should be done with caution and the result of said actions are out of the course and scope of this blog.

• If your not so nice boss criticizes your writing abilities while huffing and puffing about how you can’t write, then you shall proceed with TYPING ALL CORRESPONDENCE TO YOUR BOSS IN UPPERCASE.

•  If your not so nice boss won’t stop constantly talking about The Lone Ranger at all hours of the day, then you shall proceed with buying this Annoy-a-tron and planting it under their desk or in one of their drawers and let the fun begin. A beep will go off at random times driving them insane and giving you sinful pleasure.  

• If your not so nice boss has you complete a project, and when you show him the finished result and it is completely false you shall proceed by asking stupid questions that you already know the answer too, over and over and over again.

• If your not so nice boss doesn’t understand what the concept of personal space you shall react by simply extending your right elbow, and when he gets about one foot in diameter, let your elbow snap and forcefully hit him in the balls.

• If your not so nice boss doesn’t understand that when he talks louder, that doesn’t make his jibberish any more clearer you shall proceed by whistling while you work.

• If your not so nice boss spits when he talks you shall react by saying “It’s against my religion.” anytime you’re told to do something you don’t want to do.

• If your not so nice boss blames everything on you, you shall proceed by spaming him. Sign him up to receive the following emails: Victoria Secrets, Kitchen Kaboodle, Grocery stores, Borders bookstore, your local Opera house, a furniture store, Lulus and more.

• If your not so nice boss calls you the wrong name constantly you shall react by signing his name as Mrs. Smith on any letters or emails you send out for him/her. 

• If your not so nice boss calls you his “secretary” when you are a manager you shall react by repeating everything your boss says right after he says it. For example, if your boss says, “Did you finish that report?” You would say, “Did I finish that report?” Then answer the question. 

• If your not so nice boss is constantly nagging you about showing up 60 second late you shall react by showing up really early, even before your boss gets there. Meet him at the door and say “Sheesh! I’ve been waiting for you to get here.”

•  If your not so nice boss speaks or writes notes to you in code and expects you to decode the letters and symbols you shall proceed by writing a note back in this code:

• If your not so nice boss tells you to do something unrelated to work and when you fall behind in this new task, he yells at you and tells you to “do your job” you shall react by changing your boss’s computer settings when they are away such as: change the mouse so the right clicker is the left clicker and vice versa, change their mouse speed to ubber slow, or if they have two monitors switch them around.

 Get creative while annoying your bosses and the pleasurable outcome will be higher and more enjoyable.